Did anyone ever think we'd see the day Jameka and Zach would align? Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think pigs were flying. But this alliance was inevitable. Zach, the ultimate suck-up, and Jameka, the token Christian. All you have to do to get close to Jameka is ask her to join you for Bible Study. And that Zach did. Well, a pre-POV prayer. Go ahead, giggle away. I couldn't keep a straight face after Zach said, "Dear Heavenly Father." Not that those words are particularly funny, but in that situation and from those lips, they're hysterical. Zach's a regular Amber with his prayers. "E-V-E-L, so to speak." There's no need to crack jokes with God, Zach. That's almost as bad as telling God to bless himself. This seriously has to be the most whacked out cast in Big Brother history. Where did they find these people? There was not one personality that didn't stand out. Even Carol is embossed in my brain. Regrettably.

Thank goodness they finally showed us sequester. Or there would be some dead people at the CBS Factory today. That's what they call it, right? Anywho, I could have passed on seeing the sequester house once I realized it meant listening to Dustin run his mouth. Immediately I was like, "No! I take it all back!" I'd rather watch another prayer session than that. Fingernails on a chalkboard, that's what that is. Multiply that by ten and you get Dustin playing cards with Jen on what appeared to be Christmas Eve. I can't think of another explanation for her pajamas, so I'm going to stick to this theory. And nothing says "Home Shit Home" quite like Amber walking through the door saying, "Honey!" Excuse me while I gargle mouthwash in my vomit covered throat. Check out Gollum nestled between Eric and Jen on that sofa. If I have ever hated a facial expression, it's been that one. Hopefully she gets more control over her muscles once she sees this footage. God willing...

I have never been more nervous for a competition in my life than this weeks Power of Veto. Besides the final HOH, this was the absolute most crucial competition of the season. So much was riding on it, I don't even want to start thinking about it. I would have gone into high-pressure paralyzation and just froze in place. Well, hopefully not, but I wouldn't put it past me. I'm just going to stop thinking about the competition so I can recover from this stomach ulcer. Let's talk about the immense relief when Daniele won. Can that even be classified as a scream anymore? Hasn't that entered shriek territory? Screech? Shrill? I would have beat the shit out of that skinny bitch if I was Jameka. Thankfully, for more than this one reason, I'm not. But she was an awesome sport, and didn't attempt to manipulate Daniele. Not that it would have worked, but you know retarded Amber or Dustin would have tried. "Daniele, have you considered nominating your dad?" Hands down, most retarded idea ever. Thank God Dustin left when he did, or I might have ripped all my hair out. You know, even though it didn't matter, it was incredibly sweet of Daniele to take her dad off the block. And it fully demonstrated her trust in him, which I think was important for a lot of people to see. Just for the situation, not even the money, I'm praying these two get to sit in the Final Two together. It would be an absolute storybook ending to this season for me.

There's something that I didn't notice on Thursday that really got my blood boiling tonight--Jessica saying, "Unbelievable," on her way out the door. Let's take a moment of silence to absorb this. Is it really that unbelievable? Because if I remember correctly, Jessica discussed targetting the Donatos on more than one occasion. By the way, what's with the Big Brother narrator referring to Dick and Daniele as "The Donatos?" I mean, I know all of us do, but since when does production? I thought we weren't even supposed to know their last names. Most importantly, though, why am I dwelling on this? With that being said, I think it would be best if we moved on from this topic... I'm glad they showed Dick offering Jameka the deal in the gym, because I really wanted to know the details of it. And damn, he wanted a lot. "Swear on the bible." I make fun of the "Good People" all the time for their cult-like beliefs, but even I was shocked when he said that. He really has no fear, does he? There was a little part of me that thought Jameka would turn down the deal, because she wouldn't want to betray Jess. Well, I think you know where I'm going with this. "I've played this game for a lot of other people, and it's time for Jameka to start playing for herself." Can I get a hell yeah? Hell. Yeah! If that isn't the quote of the season, I don't know what is. "He gave me ghonorrhea!"? OK, I retract my previous allegation. But I stand by my hell yeah.

This HOH was really important for Zach and Jameka, but since Dick and Daniele work as a team, veto is the only power of importance to them. That's why I wasn't really sweating over Daniele's loss. Instead, I was laughing at everything Zach did after he won. Let's start with his slide down the steps. Oh, how I wish he would have fallen on his butt. And where did that crown come from? I shouldn't be questioning it, just thanking it for the wonderful Dustin imitation setup. "Silence!" It's nice to have little reminders for why we made such marvelous AP choices. I won't miss Eric, but I will miss bossing him around. America + Canada is the raddest Big Brother alliance ever. We're phat. With a P-H. Enough already... I’m conceited. Anyway, Zach kind of got a big head after that HOH win, no? Was that an understatement? Probably. Maybe not. Who cares? Jameka restored his faith in God, and the final four is Good vs. Evil. That’s all the matters. (Snickers)

As much as I want to rag on Zach for "betraying" Dick and Daniele, he had absolutely nothing to lose by doing so. We all know neither of the Donatos would have taken Zach to the final two if they'd won the last HOH, and it's not like he can go home this week. All he did was make two people hate him. And how is this any different than most of the season? He said it himself! "I spent my days playing chess and eating alone." Poor guy, most of the viewers don't even like him. Have you seen the Love 'Em or Leave 'Em polls? I think he's still below Nick, who was evicted, like, 400 weeks ago. But that’s probably just because Nick fans use auto-voters. Right? Same goes for anyone you don’t like. Blame the auto-voters! While you’re at it, throw Dick out of the game for putting that blue ball in Jameka’s tube, even though the producer’s have confirmed that he didn’t do it. And expel Daniele for…whining. Then you all can have your perfect Season Six final two, and maybe even Double D will stop talking again. Would that make all of you good people happy?