Amber is really in her own little world. My jaw literally dropped when she called Eric selfish for not using the POV. Pot, meet kettle. The only person in that house who could truthfully call themselves selfless is Dick. He is the only one looking out for someone else before himself. Amber, who was it that looked out for themselves when Daniele had the veto last week? That would be you. You didn't seem to give a lick about Jameka, but you're going to call Eric selfish for not saving someone he isn't even aligned with? Give me a break. And as much as I'd like to think Jessica really is doing what's best for her, this week completely confirmed that she is a puppet and Eric is her puppet master. Good for her that she finally realized Zach and Amber may not have been the smartest nominations, but it was too little too late. And I'm thankful for that, because I'm clearly rooting for Double D + AP. I love how Jessica's trying to tell Eric that he talked her into nominating two people who had her back, but it takes him about 5 minutes to convince her that she hates Amber. He has to be the luckiest player in Big Brother history. He's making money by doing exactly what's expected of him, he completely controls another player, and he can talk his way out of anything.

If Amber and Jameka hadn't shown their true colors yet, they sure did on last night's show. Talk about grasping at straws. They defend Eric the entire game, and then suddenly when Amber's in danger, they think he's a skeeze? They're lucky Jessica's the only one stupid enough to fall for it. It was a stupid strategy, anyway. What does talking trash on Eric accomplish? It's not like he's on the block next to Amber, and even if he was, it's not like Jessica has a vote. All they did was dig Amber's grave. Awesome job, ladies. I'm still in awe that they haven't realized Jessica is part of the Fantastic Four alliance. Otherwise, they might have thought twice before word vomiting all over her room. Although, I'm surprised it took Eric so long to get Jessica to finally fess up and tell him what they said. She looked pretty determined to keep her mouth shut. But she really had no choice; Eric's pulling the strings. I was shocked he used the "drug-user" card to turn the tables, though. You'd think he'd have learned by now. Even I think that's a low blow. But then again, I guess if you do have that sort of past, you're really in no position to be deciding who in the house is "good" or "bad."

We had two interesting Trips From The Outside last night--Eric's ex Cheryl, and Jameka's pastor. I'm glad we finally know the true and full story about Cheryl, and I feel much better knowing that he is 100% single. So, at this point in time, I will retract my statement from a few blogs back where I called Eric a "pig." My apologies. I actually felt kind of bad for Cheryl, though. Even when I didn't care for Eric, I never felt like his relationship with Jessica was strategy. He's made it perfectly clear that he has true feelings for her. For God's sake, he even admitted to her that he made those hinky votes and put mustard on Jen's shirt! That's gotta mean something. A less interesting look into a houseguests real life came from Jameka's pastor Jeff and sister Danita. Jeff describes Jameka as "a great example of a Christian person." If Christian people call ordained minister's bitches, than I guess so... Danita also expressed her empathy for Dick, saying that she believed he is angry because he is missing faith in his life. Ugh... Why do people always do that? It's like, "You're just jealous." Did you ever think that maybe they just don't like certain people? I'm pretty sure if Dick wanted to practice a certain religion, he would be. Considering he was raised by an ordained minister and all.

I'm so glad Amber was finally evicted. Now, please, houseguests. Give us one week, just one, with no tears. I just want to be able to forget Amber completely. This would do a world of good for me. Although, I would really like a trip to the sequester house. How are we going to catch up at this point? We already have our third member of the jury, and still no Thursday-night clips. Julie, you have some splainin' to do! I'm not sure exactly how I'd classify last night's HOH challenge, but it seemed to be a mix of physical and endurance. Interesting, nonetheless. I personally think Daniele has the best chance of them all. She has less weight to carry back and forth, and kind of big feet to slide around on. Being a smoker, and considering his challenge history, Dick looks like he'll have the hardest time. Zach runs everyday, but he's still a big guy. And Eric? I'm not too sure. He's skinny, but he isn't all that coordinated. I'm sure the majority of you already know what happened, but for those of you who don't, Sunday night is not the episode to miss.

I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to write about God again this season, but Amber Tomcavage strikes again! And she really needs to figure out whether she's psychic or religious. I highly doubt that she has these alleged visions, considering she still hasn't won that HOH or those POVs. I'm thinking those visions are just daydreams and fantasies. And she has got to be kidding with those conversations with God. "I asked God to give me HOH, but if it wasn't my time to give it to Jessica." Does she seriously believe that she is God's commander? But more importantly, does Jameka just go along with it to be nice or is she also crazy? If that was all it took to get HOH, then...I don't even know. Everyone would be HOH. And how about that Diary Room session? "Hey God, it's me. God bless you." Did she just tell God to bless himself? C'mon now, tell me you're laughing at that.

De novo, something I was hoping I wouldn't have to cover again--a Dick and Daniele fight. To be fair, those have become pretty rare over the past few weeks. Still, I was hoping there wouldn't be a resurgence. Her frustrations are understandable, though. It's annoying when someone puts their two cents in everywhere it isn't welcomed. In his defense, he actually gives her some good advice. In particular, to take vitamins and drink protein shakes when she's on slop. That girl is withering away! Even I'm concerned. I'm torn on the way each of them handle these arguments, though. He tends to be abrasive, while she shuts him off. Although, I think what a lot of people need to understand is why she tends to say things like, "I can't do this." She isn't always just walking away from the fight, but the edits never broadcast the moments when she explains that she doesn't want to talk about it on television. Who wants their personal history being discussed on someone's computer screen? One thing I don't understand is how the other houseguests think that their fights are staged. Why the hell would they put on a fight for show? I am truly in the dark on this one. Enlighten me.

I was surprised that the Luxury Competition required the houseguests to get naked. I was even more surprised that they all did it. But it turned out to be a hilarious competition. "What other word can you form with the letters G O A T?" Don't overthink it, boys. It's a good thing the girls ended up winning, though, because it would not have been very entertaining to watch three men with terrible fashion sense go on a 2-minute shopping spree. Wait, yes, that would have been hysterical. I'm disappointed we couldn't see that. I'm even more disappointed we all had to sit through Amber's ego trip. Did Nick really tell her that her face was "BLIP BLAM!"? More importantly, what does that mean? Most importantly, why is Jameka encouraging her vanity? Amber isn't hideous, but I wouldn't call her body "really pretty." And I certainly wouldn't count on magazine covers. I would expect a phone call from Mel Gibson, though. Zing!

It's too bad the Foul Five didn't know why Dick was terrorizing them, because they looked pretty ridiculous hiding up in the HOH room. They literally came up with reaction plans in case Dick tried to hit them. They are truly delusional. I've never seen a group mirror the Nerd Herd as much as these five. It's hysterical how high they hold themselves in their heads. At least Dick isn't in denial over the fact that he's, well, a dick. These guys never shut up about Dick and Daniele's "hypocrisy," but they're just the same assholes in different clothing. Practice what you preach, people! As annoying as it must have been for Dustin to wake up to Dick banging a pan in his face, it was pretty hilarious to us Dickheads (apparently this is what they call Dick's fans). Quote of the day: "Can I get you some ghonorrhea on your toothbrush?" No one can deny, not even haters, that what Dick did was honorable. He chose to save his daughter, without question, and he did what he had to do to make it happen. Even though it meant leaving the game.

I literally gagged during the veto competition, and I wasn't even near those concoctions. The mere idea of drinking a cup of "Big Brother Blood" is giving me this horrifying bitter beer face right now. I'm really worried for them that they might have contracted HIV. Well, not Dustin so much. I mean, he's used to the whole STD thing. Zing! I probably would've drank the blood if I was on the block, though. Even if it meant I might get Hepatitis C. Five-hundred thousand dollars covers that kind of medication, right? Anyway, the croquet half of that competition got pretty intense. I mean, I already knew who won it, and I was still freaking out. There was a little part of me wondering if I had gotten Punk'd, and the entire world was in on it. OK, not really, but I kept jogging my memory to make absolutely sure that Dick won the veto. And damnit, he did! It must have killed Dustin to see Dick beat him by one measley point. What I thought was funniest was the fact that after he won the veto, everyone suddenly decided it would be selfish of him to use it on himself. He is the one who won it. And this is his game, too. I'm not saying he shouldn't have used the veto on Daniele, but she did use it on herself week two. It wouldn't exactly make him Satan if he saves himself.

I was so happy when Daniele called Jameka out on being a bitch. "I thought he was your God, too, Daniele. But maybe not." I'm not even sure what she meant by that, but it still pissed me off. Since when did Daniele become responsible for Dick's actions? It's like these people just look for any excuse to hate Dick and all things associated with him. He provided her with DNA? She will be scorned forever! Puh-lease. I'm so glad Daniele confronted the group, otherwise they would have gotten yet another warped interpretation of a conversation Jameka's involved in. Can I throw out some props to Amber? "Let her talk for a minute." Jameka calls Daniele immature for walking away from their arguments, but who wouldn't when Jameka doesn't let her get a word in edge wise. Zach was the only sane person in that room who understood that it's not Daniele's responsibility to make sure Dick behaves himself. And I would be having a much more pleasant night if Eric would have never opened his mouth during that whole situation. I can't even understand why he would ever accuse someone besides himself of saying "despicable things." Eric has insinuated on three occasions that I can recall, but I'm sure it's more like 500, that Dick and Daniele have an incestuous relationship. You want to talk about saying despicable things? But of course CBS would never air any of that, because they're too busy trying to save this disaster of a twist. So, Eric, the next time you want to complain about someone else's words, you better have some magical material to defend what you've said. I would spit on that weasel right now if he was in front of me.

God, I loved voting for Eric to give Jessica the cold shoulder. His reaction was priceless. Pure "America hates me." Eric, you could save dying children from Ethiopia for the rest of your life and you still wouldn't gain my respect. But I'm still going to "throw challenging tasks your way." Because it makes me laugh. Ha ha! I really never thought that Eric's silent treatment would have had the effect it did on Jessica, but I am thrilled with the results. It was kind of fun to see Jessica cry (I'm pure evil, aren't I?). And what is with Jen's bullshit lately? She just comes up with ridiculous stories in her head and then tells them to people. And somehow they always believe her. Although, convincing Jess that Dustin's a snake couldn't have been that difficult. Jen could have told Jessica that she was pure African and she would have believed it. But only until Eric told her it wasn't true. And then she'd flip again when Dick and Daniele said it was true. Am I making my point? Anyway, I'm glad CBS failed Eric on that task, whether they used clever editing or not. Truth is, he spoke to Jessica for 45 minutes after he recieved the task and then went to bed. Either way, an F is an F. And I hate Eric.

Note: Forgive me if Thursday's blog doesn't appear until Friday, and Sunday's blog doesn't appear until Monday. I'm staying somewhere with no wireless, and it's a bitch driving out to Panera at 11 pm just to publish these. I'll be back in the groove for next Tuesday's blog, though.

Eric's Reaction: Part Two. I've heard more bullshit come out of his mouth in the past five days than I've heard in most of Big Brother history. Have you ever seen someone with that many nervous habits going off at once? As Eric assures the LNC that "Dick and Daniele have made a $500,000 mistake," he raises his right eyebrow, cocks his neck to the side, opens his eyes widely, laughs like a mad scientist, and scratches a patch of skin that I'm fairly certain isn't even itchy. Have these people never seen someone lie before? Or are they just that fucking clueless? I'm betting on the latter. Surprisingly enough, it's Dustin that gets my vote for Most Hated Houseguest this week. If I hear him say, "It's a numbers game," one more time, I think I'll jump off a bridge. And keep in mind that voting Kail out doesn't automatically win you Head of Household. Your enemies still have two people competing in that competition, and only one person can win. Numbers won't do you any good if Dick or Zach wins HOH on Thursday, now will they? In fact, it'll ensure that "The Donatos" get one of you cowards evicted. So take your pompous attitude elsewhere, Napoleon.

Who would have thought we'd see the day when Dick and Jen would hug? I'm pretty sure there's a couple of pigs flying around a farm somewhere. And some icicles hanging from the ceiling of Hell. Any other phrases I've missed? The point is, Dick and Jen both proved themselves to be mature when they swallowed their pride and made that truce. And I'm so glad Zach is working with them, because it's really about time he has some social interaction. He was pretty much a no-brainer, anyway. He needs them just as much as they need him. He could either team up with the LNC and be number three on their hit list, or he can team up with Double D escape their line of fire. Like I said, no-brainer.

That Power of Veto competition was just plain brutal. Honestly, if I was Jameka I'd have gotten out on the very first question. There's no way I'm wearing a bunny suit, much less giving up HOH to protect somebody that I don't even know I can trust. I'm sure CBS did their fair share of editing to his Diary Room, but was I the only one shocked by Eric's audacity? "Jameka is my only hope." And what in the hell does she owe you? Her pride? That's all that's left at this point. She's already pouring shit on her head for 24 hours and giving up any possibility at HOH for five weeks. You want her to sacrifice the prize money? Please. Leave that to the nominees. And damnit, Jen won that veto fair and square. She deserved it, and she definitly showed everyone what she was there to do--compete. Although, if that girl makes it to the final two, I say CBS gives her the half mill, anyway. Because, let's be honest, she defied physics. I'm pretty sure I learned that in high school. Chen's Law of Tears, or something. Anyway, if she pulls off F2, I'm fairly certain she's a magician.

Anyone with a Big Brother Superpass knew exactly how it felt over the weekend to just be sitting around waiting for the confrontation Dick kept promising everyone. I didn't have the pleasure of viewing it live, but it was still awesome. First of all, any innocent person who is being accused of lying doesn't immediately respond with, "I didn't lie to you." Especially not in a calm, rehearsed manner. And I hope every single witness of that argument saw right through Eric's bullshit. How is he going to accuse Dick of lying "a multitude of times?" I don't care whose side you're on in that house, one thing you can't deny is the fact that Dick doesn't lie. He lets every single person know what he thinks, and he never plays He Said, She Said. Eric doesn't even believe that Dick lies--"I'm not gonna play this game." What game? Backing up your accusations? You may as well keep digging, because there's no way you can climb out of this hole.